ROBO YOU DON'T

The image you are about to see is ©1990...to me! Don't even think about ripping off my idea......I'll be so angry if you do!! Also, more importantly, the image is staggeringly amazing......it's staggerazing!!

I drew that rockin' poster when I was about 10....and I was sober. It's really quite fascinating trying to put myself back in that kids place. The image makes me laugh now, but at the time....this was a great idea. I remember it was around the time Robocop 2 was coming out....I knew they had to be thinking about a Robocop 3, but surely they weren't thinking 10 steps ahead....like me!

Why movie execs never came knocking I'll never know. I gave Robocop extra shoulder spikes for the love of God! Not to mention the leg boosters and arm missiles he was desperately in need of, and to top it off, he appears to have a new backpack with attaching pipes, which, if I'm not mistaken, most likely contains the apple sauce baby food RC oh-so adores!

Now you've probably noticed Robocop isn't alone in this poster, deary me no! It wouldn't be a decent sequel without a cool new sidekick! Cue Robokid! Look at him....he has a skateboard! Does it get any cooler? Yes it does....the skateboard has remote activated rocket boosters! How ever will Robocop keep up with him? He's gonna have to keep that scallywag on a short leash if they're ever going to be the crime fighting duo they're destined to be.

Lets stop and have a wee think about Robokid. If we are to go on what the Robocop movies have taught us, it takes a brutal murder to even be considered for the Robotification privelage. So what's the kid's story? I like to believe he's Robocop's son who is out for revenge on a skateboard. Nobody kills his dad and gets away with it!! But, uh-oh, just as he gets a few decent leads, Foreman's Dad from That 70's Show pops up and blows him away while yelling "I'm not really dead dumb-ass!". So then, because of their immense respect for old Robocop, the policey sciencey people decide to fix his kid! But Robocop is worried and yells, "He loves his hair, please be careful", the scientist tells him "don't worry, we'll fit him with the latest in open-top helmet technology". Robocop smiles and shakes his hand "thanks creep".

Finally, we have the tag line. "Don't move creep" (I think he's taking to you) - Robo's back and this time he's got a little friend - Robokid.......Robokid is in utter agreement with what's just been said so, obviously, he says, "Yeah!".

As you can see, I was pretty down with Robocop at 10 years old, which is probably why I was one of the few who were allowed to call him Robo.

So yeah.....Robocop 4. Kids are weird. I love it.